It's kind of different type of sad when you are terribly missing someone but you cannot say so. Because you know, nothing is going to change even if you did. Or perhaps one or two things will, but then you know the ending will eventually be the same. And you cannot do anything about it. And it's not your fault, not anyone else's, it's just... the reality. And a sad one too.
If you have tried to hit me up, my apologies. I'm having a savage recovery and I'm not on planet earth currently. R